I encountered the Tantra of DeLight out of sheer desperation. I had been in partial seclusion for the better part of six months begging for the Infinite to give me an answer to my brain damage, for my continual severe bouts of emotional turmoils, my suicidal depression and to bring me the confidence to change my life.
You know, in my past, I suffered from an unbelievable depth of depression, anxiety, stress and anger. In fact those were pretty much the only emotions I ever really felt. A large part of it had to do with my brain chemistry imbalances and nervous system damage, but I never felt I could get a handle on it.
I tell you this so you understand I’m not always 100% happy all of the time. No one is. But we can go to the very center of those emotions and understand them, feel them fully, then transmute them to higher elevating feelings.
All that kept getting whispered back to me was “de light”. ARRGGHH it was so frustrating! I wanted to tear my hair out and rend my clothes! It was as if none of this “spiritual” stuff even worked for me!
Lo and behold, though, one day I received a profound, powerful vision during one of my meditations. I had been begging for an answer and went into my meditations hoping for an understanding as to why I felt the way I did. Instead of telling me why I felt the way I did, he simply showed me how to undo what I was feeling inside.
It was my old friend and teacher, Maitreya, the Buddha of the Future. He was rolling on the ground laughing at the moon. Here was a highly revered Mahatma, an Ascended Master portraying himself as an enormous fat man rolling around in the dirt on his back, his great belly jiggling heartily as he laughed with his whole being, not caring one bit if he dirtied his robes or lost his mala beads. The vision was so funny I burst out laughing myself and completely forgot all about my emotional distress.
Then, Maitreya stopped laughing, sat up and stared straight into my eyes. With all the seriousness he could muster he said, “Remember Silly Senses. That is the answer to your problem. Be DeLight.” Then he disappeared.
I sat there, blinking and wondered what on earth he was talking about.
However, I realized I couldn’t even remember why I had been so depressed. I felt elated. Overjoyed. I immediately ended my meditation and ran outside to feel the dirt underneath my feet and the breeze in my hair. I ran around and spun around in circles with my arms out wide until I fell to the ground, laughing.
Then, I had an epiphany. We have many senses we refer to, our sense of self-worth, our sense of trust, our sense of sight, sense of touch, but in all my day-to-day busy-ness of trying to be everything to everyone else, I forgot all about my silly senses. Those are the senses our childhood sharpens, allowing us to see the ridiculous in things that adults find absurd or dumb or irritating and frustrating.
Our silly senses may be highly attuned as children and are even sharpened and sensitized when we are around other children, but over the years of hard work, struggling to pay bills and trying to keep a lid on all our overwhelm, our silly senses get atrophied. As we become more frustrated, more stressed out or more angry, bitter or resentful, our silly senses become frayed.
Maitreya reminds us to keep our silly senses attuned to the funny, the jovial, the wonderful things around us, and not get hung up on our “problems”. After all, I was to discover later on in my journey, the “brain damage” I suffered from, was really a powerful, amazing gift in disguise. The ability to see, hear and sense realms and receive wisdom and information that others have little to no access to has indeed been an amazing gift.
Remember to practice using your “silly senses”. Keep a sense of play and silliness going in your everyday and find ways to turn even your most mundane tasks into silly adventures of the ridiculous. 🙂 After all, life is meant to be fully delighted in!