ISIS shares her remarkable life story and what she has come to learn. From a near-death drowning that awakened her psychic gifts, to abduction, slavery and nearly dying, ISIS documents what she has transcended to become an awakened teacher that shares wisdom, love and light with all her followers and students.
First of all, I want to invite you into my life. We all have stories, dear one. We have all experienced trauma to some extent over the course of our lives. It is what we as humans, have in common.
One night, I was finishing up with a client when my car wouldn’t start. A co-worker who was at my client’s event with me offered to drive me home. I agreed, but I felt very uncertain about it. I brushed it aside, because by then I had learned to stuff all my intuition and “higher function” down and ignore it. I followed him but the next thing I remember is waking up in a dirty, soiled bed, in a room I did not recognize, naked and in excruciating pain…
I spent the next six months as a slave. I was forced to service men, clean the place, and when I wasn’t in use, I spent most of my time in a small, dark crawlspace built into the back of a closet. Sometimes it would be hours before I was let out, sometimes days. I had been chained, drugged, raped, beaten, strangled and many times I left my body.
Trafficking, human slavery is the second fastest growing criminal industry in the world, second only to illegal arms trade. It surpasses drugs. The average slave in today’s market goes for between $90-$400. One day, I was taken to a hotel where I was examined by a buyer. A middle eastern man who offered $15,000 for me because I looked no older than 14. he believed with my pale skin, green eyes and beautiful hair, he could make a fortune off me back in his country.
However, my captor by then had decided to keep me for himself.
Traffickers are extremely smart. Very careful, and very skilled at what they do. I was allowed time on good behavior. He allowed phone calls once a week that he monitored. He threatened with raping and killing my children after he broke every bone in their body if I didn’t comply carefully with every instruction. I was scripted on every word I spoke.
During the second month of my captivity, I had tried to escape. He caught me, and took me out in the middle of the desert a hundred miles out of the city in the dead of night. Out there, he stripped me naked and forced me to dig my own grave with a shovel while he held a gun pointed at me. It took me hours. He threatened me with dumping me and my daughters there in that if I ever mentioned a word of this to anyone.
After I escaped, my life was never the same. I was an agoraphobic. Every van that looked like his I would hide. For months I couldn’t walk down the street alone. I couldn’t even go to the store. I was terrified he would find me and this time, take my daughters and hurt them as he threatened to do.
I would not sleep at night, Instead, I would go through the house, with a huge knife in my hand and check every door, every window, no less than thirty times. I often sat in the middle of my living room, late at night feeling his hands around my neck strangling me. I had severe panic attacks and severe PTSD that was set of by the littlest thing.
I never invited anyone to my home. I had very few friends. I could pretend to be nice enough to get work, and worked well with others. My managers said I was one of the most accommodating, friendly and hard working employees they ever had. little did they know I had to vomit four- five times before entering the work place where I would be overwhelmed by the sheer number of people, and at least six or seven times throughout the day. I lived in a near constant state of severe anxiety, terror and panic.
People think the trauma in the midst of captivity is the worst. I tell you this, your mind creates monsters for years after. Even through all the therapy, all the work all the help, I had a difficult time.
I put on a very brave front, but inside, I was falling apart.
It wasn’t until I discovered the Yoga of delight and bliss that my life changed. I didn’t just meditate, however. I found it very easy to leave my body and go places. Visit. I was with spirits, angels, teachers, and even saw the ever-changing face of the Infinite itself. I realized, that I had several near-death experiences like this during my time in captivity.
Until then, i couldn’t be in a community for very long. What if they found out my secret? I was sold for sex. What if they learned I wasn’t who I pretended to be? What if they learned that I was less than them? What if they learned i am not worthy?
During that period of time in meditation and reading and studying about various spiritual ecstatic experiences did I realize what had transpired for me. Then one day, the I where I should be -dissapated. And I became as large as the cosmos and at the same time, as tiny as a grain of sand. I was filled with an overwhelming sense of love, compassion, joy and bliss for being alive.
I opened my eyes, and everything sparkles like jewels. Everywhere I go people are divine to me, lit up from within. I no longer have hate in my heart. I no longer resent. I no longer fear. I am in a place where I am lovingly supported, honored and held as sacred, for every step I take is a sacred miracle. Every breath I breathe is a sacred miracle.
I found love. I found forgiveness. I found acceptance. I fell head over heels in delight with myself. And I didn’t have to surrender, give myself up, or enslave myself to any particular belief to do it. and I never looked back.
Today, I have been called so many names blessed names, by so many beautiful, wonderful people. I have been called blessed one, an angel in the flesh, the awakened one, the healer of healers, the teacher of teachers. the light of lights. I have been called bodhisattva Guinan, the compassionate one, and I have been called Idam Shakti Isvara Svarupa – the sacred feminine who embodies the Infinite. I am not a buddha, I am not an angel. I am as you are.
I am simply as I am. No more, no less.
My most blessed vision is to end the suffering and enslavement of as many as I can, to teach people how to reclaim their delight, joy and bliss, and to become one with love, with joy, with peace and allow that to be their path.
No matter what you believe, no matter who you are, no matter where you come from or where you are going, you can be who you are. Radiantly, uniquely, beautifully you.
I am most grateful and humble for every one of you who have come to me for blessings, for divine light transmissions, for hope, for healing. I am so grateful for being here now. Every thing around me is a miracle to behold. Everything sparkles like jewels.
I am smiling, because you all are so beautiful, such lights to me, and I am overcome with the love that pours from beyond me for you.
I never expected to enjoy teaching and sharing. I was in such fear for so long to share myself. Afraid of being consumed, of being hurt again of being found. I realize, I am no longer in fear. I am in my power.
The strength that comes through me is the strength of the infinite that allows me to be present, to be here, as I am. The past matters not, the future matters not. All that matters is here, now, what we choose in this moment, to be aware, to be present, to be the peace and love and delight we wish to see radiated out into the world. That is our most natural, most powerful and most effortless state of being.
I have learned to love and accept unconditionally. to love and be present and set myself aside for the greater good of all. to be so full and open and present is a gift, a gift the infinite gives to us all.
Like you I am challenged daily, I am challenged with impatience, with frustration, with the whys of the world. I am challenged to step out of hurt and anger and make a conscious choice. People don’t realize that being awake is like being in love, its a conscious choice you make, each and every day.
My greatest, most potent source of personal strength does not come from me, but through me. It is the resivoir of infinite strength and power that fuels the entire universe. I draw on that and allow that to embody me,to support me to strengthen me, to nurture me.
I find I have an overwhelming amount of love and compassion for others. I find it effortless to transcend into the Infinite to draw down wisdom and insight for my students and readers. I guide people back to their Infinite Nature, teaching them how to embark upon the ascension journey to their Divine Light.
I teach mastery, wisdom, liberation. Whatever it is you need or desire most in their lives, I will show you how to effortlessly manifest it while dissolving any barrier in the blink of an eye.